It’s likely there’s not a lot of pre-production: cries usually catch us off guard, and it’s rare we’re able to set the table before we begin. Here is a list of things you can do while crying and after that might feel good:
Fold your body in for a little bit. You’re so visible all day, it’s okay to conceal yourself while you encourage this cry out. You’re giving your innards a private room. Stay like this for a little, but do unfold soon:
Open your ribs.
Make your neck muscles jello.
Your jaw doesn’t need to be a steel trap.
I’m not recommending a power pose or anything (though it can help!)-- just saying, no need to calcify yourself. Crying isn’t for bones, it’s for soft bits.
You may open and close like a time-lapse of a morning-glory.
Allow your mind to clear itself of complex thought.
You’re signaling helplessness: it’s not the time for coming up with a solution, or diagnosing yourself, naming how you’re feeling in real time.
Your body isn’t focused on moving past this moment, it’s asking you to stop what you’re doing and wail your distress signal.
You don’t need to be a genius: you need to be in distress.
Let your face be what it is.
You are making the face of Extreme Emotion.
Your face is validating the intensity of your feelings.
Your face is telling your heart, “I know, this is crazy! It’s as crazy as I look right now! See? I get it”.
(Like how mirroring body language is a sign of empathy).
All your systems are empathizing with each other.
Look how considerate you are with yourself!
Don’t worry about blowing your nose
You have nothing to correct
Your face is a mountain in spring, running with snowmelt
(You might want tissues nearby for later, but don’t worry about it now)
Make your sounds
Sob your big laughing sobs. Go too far with it.
Make grumbling complaining groans. This sucks!
Wail on every vowel sound: a good sob on “eh” (like the first sound in “everybody”) goes super hard.
Maybe you’ll make yourself laugh?
Walk your shaky body to the sink.
Put your fingers under the faucet. Give your face nice, gentle taps.
Gently press dry your fingertips into a towel.
Fill your biggest glass with water.
Hang onto it. Put it next to yourself.
Don’t rush, and don’t choke: take small sips when your breathing is beginning to become steady again.
Are you slowing down?
Find something soft and put it on, stroke it like you’re grooming it/yourself
Flutter your lips
Press the ball of your hands (metacarpals) onto your cheekbones, resting your fingers long over your eyes. This provides a cooling darkness as well as opens your sinuses a bit.
Remember that your thoughts aren’t ready yet.
Your job now is to get air and water back into your body.
Your job now is to move slowly
You do not have to chase your thoughts: they’re still getting dressed. They’ll come see you in their own time.
You might want to talk it out, now, or journal: avoid immediate diagnosis or search for cause
You can be curious!
You just experienced chemicals. You are a scientist!
You just experienced a primal expression. You are a caveman!
Humans are the only animals who cry. Look what complexity you’re capable of!
Tucking “You don’t need to be a genius: you need to be in distress.” Into every pocket for every rainy day